Murphy's laws on contraception

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Girl Scout Motto

Get ready. Chances are he won't.

A sonorous invention

Oral contraception is when you tell him out loud that you are not going to get into it and then "fly in."

Natural contraception methods

If your children do not rush into your bedroom when you are making love, your dear parents will call you on the phone.

Natural rhythm method

If on the matrimonial bed you act in accordance with the method of natural rhythms, then there are chances that you will also have children rhythmically.

Extraction method

The method of contraception, which requires timely extraction, works 100 percent in theory, but it has never been successfully tested in practice.

Interrupted intercourse

When you have sex, then:

1. The oven timer is running.

2. A cat jumps up on the bed.

3. A newspaper delivery boy comes to receive the money due to him.

4. Your baby is waking up and it's time to feed him.

5. You remember one important thing that you forgot to do at work.

6. Your parents call long distance.

Condom puzzle

He doesn't want to use a condom because "he doesn't feel good about this damn thing." But if he does not use it, then it may happen that in just a few months you will feel all the good, and on your own skin.

Protection Creed

Females who are not protected are sooner or later called mothers.

Old student truths

1. Where there is a pill, there will be no cradle.

2. Where there are enough pills, there will be no children.

3. If there are pills in reserve, there is a guy just right.

The mousetrap principle

Stock up on a fair amount of the next morning birth control pill and the world will be somewhere at your feet.

What is the real effect of contraception?

1. The more effective the method of contraception, the less pleasure you experience.

2. The less pleasure you experience, the less often you have sex.

3. The less often you have sex, the less likely you are to "fly in."

Watch the video: Interstellar 2014. Murphy Laws

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